Wally Waters and the Incident at Claudia Crujiente’s Cupcakes and More
By Tyler Daswick
***
“Weird the money’s at a cake shop.”
“Yeah, but that’s what he said.” Bo drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.
The sun was just beginning to rise over the Sandy Beach Strip Mall. Bo had parked across the street from Claudia Crujiente’s Cupcakes and More and he and Wally were sitting there with the lights off. Wally’s butt was sore from waiting and he shifted a little. “Anyone in there yet?”
Bo narrowed his eyes. “Light in the back. Could be a security situation though.” His eyes went wide and he smacked Wally’s leg. “Yo! Someone’s there! They’re coming to the front door!”
Wally rose up in his seat to look but Bo shoved him back down. “What’re you doing, man? That’s how they ID you.”
“You smacked me like I should check it out.”
“Man, be cool. I’m just keeping you alert.”
Wally fidgeted with his mask. “What’s happening now?”
“They’re unlocking the door. It’s go time, brah. Put your mask on.”
Wally pulled the mask on and moved it around so he could see out and he turned his head so he could look at Bo. “Are you coming?”
Bo pulled back like Wally had tried to slap him. “Brah, I’m getaway.”
“What?”
“I’ll pull around out back and wait for you. Four minutes. Justin Timberlake and Madonna.”
“What?” Wally rose up to look again but Bo shoved him back down.
“Man, you gotta chill out. We’re about to do this.”
“I’m about to do this.” Wally muttered.
“What?”
“Never mind.”
They sat there for a moment. Bo wiped his nose and looked at his fingers and then looked at Wally. “Okay? Come on now. The mask looks good. You got your gun?”
Wally held it up.
Bo rolled his eyes and breathed out of his nose and grabbed it out of Wally’s hands.
“Hey!” Wally reached for it.
Bo held it away and broke off the orange tip and looked at Wally. “Act like you’ve been here before, man.” He tossed the gun back but Wally dropped it between the door and the seat.
Wally rummaged for a second and found it. “Okay.”
Bo looked at him.
Wally looked back.
Bo raised an eyebrow. “So you going?”
“What?”
Bo shoved Wally out.
Wally landed on his feet but he was facing the wrong way and he whirled around. All the lights were on in the cupcake shop and he could see someone behind the counter. Next to him Bo gunned the engine and the headlights came on and the car screeched away. Wally was alone in the parking lot. He started running.
***
Claudia Cruijiente was placing the last salted caramel mini-cake (2 for $12) into her display case when the man in the mask burst through the front door and waved his plastic gun at her. “Where’s the money?” he shouted.
Claudia prodded the cake into alignment and straightened up. “Can I help you, sir?”
The man flailed the gun. “The money! Give me the money! Or, or I’ll shoot! I’ll shoot everyone!”
Claudia stood still. There was no one else in the shop. “Stay calm, sir.”
“Put your hands up!”
“Fine.” Claudia raised her hands. She pointed to the register with one hand. “I can give you whatever you want out of there. Would you like me to do that?”
The man paused. “Yeah.”
“Okay, I’m going to lower my hands.”
“No, don’t.”
“Can I lower just one? So I can push the buttons.”
Another pause. “Okay.”
Claudia’s mind raced. She went to the register and tapped the keys and the drawer opened. “Tens and fives okay?” she asked, glancing at the man above her glasses.
The man’s arm must have been growing tired because he switched the gun to his other hand. “Yeah, fine.” Then he seemed to think for a second. “Wait. What?”
“Tens and fives. That’s all I have at the beginning of the day.”
“Huh? No. All of it. Give me all of it, and the rest, too.”
“The rest of what?”
“The money! The rest of the money!” Spit flew from the mask.
“Sir, you need to calm down.” Claudia had her hands on her hips now. The cordless phone was in the back. If she could make a break for it…
“Hurry!” The man shook the gun a little and Claudia pulled all the bills out of the register and stacked them.
“Do you want them in a bundle?” she asked.
“What? Yeah.”
“I could use my hair tie.”
“That’s fine.”
Claudia took the tie off her wrist and wrapped the money up.
“Now where’s the rest?” The man shouted. His voice cracked.
That’s when Claudia had her idea.
***
Wally’s other arm was starting to ache from holding the gun. “Now where’s the rest?”
The woman put her hands back up. She held the money over her head. “I don’t know! I don’t know! Please, don’t shoot!”
Wally stepped forward. “Hand it over, lady!”
The woman screamed and flung the stack of bills at Wally. It thumped him in the stomach and he gave a little yelp and tried to catch it but he missed. The stack fell on the ground and he stooped to pick it up. He straightened. The woman was gone. The door to the back was swinging.
“Hey!” Wally scrambled over the counter and shoved the door open and that’s when a giant, white, frosted cake smacked into his face. The surprise (and the cake; it was a pretty big cake) sent him heels over head and he landed with a splat.
There was a beeping noise. Wally picked up his head and the cake slid into his lap. He smeared the frosting out of his eyes. “Hey! Don’t move!”
The woman had a phone in her hand and she was lifting it to her ear. “Hello? 9-1-1?”
Wally threw the gun at her. It hit the woman in the shoulder and she cried out and dropped the phone and Wally scrambled to his feet and made a dive for it. The cake was stuck to his chest. It smooshed against him but he knocked the woman’s arm out of the way and grabbed the phone and rolled over and flung it back toward the front. There was a smashing sound.
The woman yelled and tried to swipe at Wally but she wasn’t very agile (probably because she was a baker) and Wally slipped away. He jumped over her and shoved the push bar for the back door and staggered out into the street, his arms full of cake and money.
Bo was there with the car. Wally hurried around to the side and tried the handle. Locked. He pounded the window. Bo said something vulgar and slapped around for the button and there was a click and Wally opened the door and slid into the passenger seat and before the door was closed Bo was peeling out. Wally turned around and looked out the back. No baker. In seconds, Claudia Crujiente’s Cupcakes and More was out of sight.
Bo pulled the car onto Sandy Beach Drive and looked at Wally. “So, how’d it go?”
Wally pulled his mask off and held up the bundle of money. “This is all she had.”
Bo frowned. “That’s it? You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh. Weird. What kind of cake is that?”
They drove for a while, but they never heard a siren. Bo did a couple U-turns just in case anyone was tailing them.
***
It was later on. Wally and Bo stood at the corner of Oyster Street and Palmerson Parkway, eating pieces of the cake off paper plates.
Wally pointed with his fork at the bulldog sniffing around his feet. “What’s his name?”
Bo jostled the leash. “Bojangles.”
“No, the dog.”
“Yeah. Bojangles.”
“You named the dog after yourself?”
Bo frowned at Wally behind his sunglasses. “No, man. Why would I do that? He’s named after my mom.” He shook his head and took another bite of cake. Bojangles jumped up and put his paws on Wally’s leg and tried to lick some frosting off his shirt.
A silver Chrysler came to the intersection and stopped at the opposite corner. Bo inclined his head. “I think that’s him.” His cell phone rang and Bo moved the cake to his other hand, the one holding Bojangles, and pulled his phone from his pocket. “Here, I’ll put in on speaker.”
Wally stepped closer.
“You guys got it?”
“Yeah, man.” Bo looked at the Chrysler and gave a little wave.
“Don’t wave. Don’t even look over here.”
“Sorry. Gotta confirm, that’s all.”
There was a pause. “It’s us.”
“Word.”
“Are we on speakerphone?”
Bo looked at Wally. “No.”
“Put the phone to your ear.”
Bo looked at Wally again but this time he winked and lifted his phone and held it with the screen facing out. “How’s that?”
“Better. You have the drop?”
“Yessir.”
“Did you count it?”
“Yessir.”
“All there?”
“Yessir, all…” Bo raised his eyebrows at Wally and Wally signaled with his hands. “…all sixty dollars.”
There was a moment of silence. “What.”
Bo grinned and nodded at Wally. “Yeah, like I said, man. It’s all there.”
Another silence, longer. “Where did you go.”
“That cake place on Sandy Beach, like you said. We were in and out, baby. Double double with cheese. Bang, bang.”
“Cake pl—what? I said brake place. Brake place. The Just Brakes on Sandy Beach.”
Wally and Bo looked at each other. No one said anything.
The line clicked dead.
Bojangles snorted and snuffled around Wally’s shoe. Bo put his phone back in his pocket and shuffled his plate again and picked up his fork. He shrugged and took another bite. “I guess that explains it.”
The bulldog was licking Wally’s shoe, but he didn’t notice. The light changed at the intersection, and the Chrysler was starting to move.